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About the Author
Derek Southwood was born on the 6th February 1945 and was
educated at Vincent Secondary Modern School Northolt, between Oxford and Cambridge where he represented his school in the prestigious egg and spoon race.
In the fifth form he studied Speeling and Gamma and graduated, one year later to the classroom upstairs. HIs tutor encouraged him onto much greater achievements stating in his end of term report that read, "Could do a lot better".
For twenty years he lived with his mother and only brother in their ancestral home in Northolt in a prefab. His early love of classical music caused him to study for the Royal Academy of Music Grade One exam that he nearly obtained.
Early examples of his unique style of literature were unfortunately burned at the local incinerator and never to date has he had to steal any one else's stories.
Derek entered the House of Commons in 1978 on an official guided tour.
So far he hasn't been created a life peer in the Queen's Birthday Honours and now lives in Skid Row, Ruislip. To date he has only been to prison twice with his R&B band "Cross Purposes" entertaining the captivated inmates, some of whom preferred to remain in their cells writing their memoirs.
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